Day 15

Quiet first half of the day-- I read Colette's The Vagabond for hours. It's a quite interesting, stream-of-consciousness-style, early feminist novel, but it bothered me for many of the same reasons Proust's book did. Both books described "love" stories that I didn't think were love stories at all! In my opinion, both had one character who was desperately enamored with the other-- without really knowing him/her at all-- and another character who just fancied the attention but nothing more.

In both novels, the "love" the devoted character feels is nothing more than a paranoia that the person they have chosen to desire (for no particular reason, since he/she has no favorable qualities) does not truly "belong" to them and has a past or other suitors of which they are ignorant. These fears prove true, but they cause the devoted character to become obsessed, and this dread of losing the indifferent object of their "affections" makes them value that person all the more. All of which leads me to believe that they want the feeling of power and security that comes from "owning" someone, from possessing someone, much more than they enjoy the company of that person him/herself or even the idea of that person... It's complicated!

Anyway, this evening I tagged along with Isabelle, Zana and Grace to go see a movie-- Blanche Neige et le chasseur (Snow White and the Huntsmen). This one was an American movie, and it was much more violent and action-packed than I expected. I left the theater that evening feeling emotionally worn out!

The others were going on a picnic, and even though I'd already bought a dinner I was planning to make at St. John's, I made a big effort to be flexible and join them. We ended up eating in a park near the Bon Marche.

Back at St. John's now, and just finished The Vagabond. Planning on moving on to "Cat Among the Pidgeons" tomorrow.

Hope everyone is safe, healthy and happy!